Recently, I had a very humbling experience. I had my name put in for a different position within our school system - a position which I aspire to eventually fill. I truly felt that I am now at a place in my career where I'm ready to move outside of the classroom. I've reached milestones of accomplishments in professional growth - National Board Certification, a state finalist for teacher of the year, and my Master's degree - and I feel confident that I'm a great teacher and could help lead other teachers. Anyway, when I realized that I had not been chosen for any of the available positions, I was pretty crushed. I began to question my abilities and if I'd ever have the chance to do what I desire. I had feelings of insecurity and disappointment.
I spoke with a wise friend who loves me very much and she told me some very true, very humbling words. Not only have I been blessed in my family with three healthy babies over the past two years, but I've been blessed professionally as well. As another friend put it, 2012 was "the year of Amy," and I felt pretty darn great about myself. My wise, loving friend spoke truth into my life a few months ago - the Lord was humbling me. He was giving me a gentle reminder (even though it was almost crushing to me) that HE is in control of my life and that it's by His strength and my faith in Him that I should make decisions in my life. She paralleled her wisdom with this story: she recently had a moment where she was feeling great about herself - personally and professionally. She was walking in to work one day, feeling particularly haughty, when she took a mean tumble. The kind of fall where you get gravel in your hair. This was her reminder that she is not so great on her own and not too great to take a fall. This story applied to me too...not earning this new position was a reminder that I'm not so great on my own. Since that day, I've really tried to realign my perspective with the Lord's - a focus on things that are eternal and trusting in Him to guide my steps.
I share that story because I'm now constantly aware of small situations of humility (or gravel in my hair as I like to call it now, thanks to my wise, loving friend). Today's Target trip was one of those experiences. I had the kids in the "super buggy" (the one with the plastic part up front for kids to sit in - I'm not sure what to call it). Maddex was strapped in the plastic area, Harper was sitting in the front part, and Major was in the carseat in the large part of the buggy. All three kids were awesome during the whole trip. We had several people stop and ooh and aahh over the babies. All the kids smiled sweetly in response and made me feel like supermom. We finished the trip with a sweet family behind us in line where one woman commented that she needed to take lessons from me and another woman wished us love, joy, and sweet blessings. I walked out thinking, "Man, I got this mom thing down!"
Then came the gravel.
Harper started screaming. I then saw the poopy diaper that I left on my car from changing Harper before we headed inside (this still makes me LOL). I unloaded the groceries and Harper kept screaming. I put Maddex in the car; she was crying. Major had a huge poop, so I changed him in the front seat. Harper screaming, Maddex crying. Major started crying when I put him back in his carseat (he had gotten such a brief taste of freedom!). The air was blowing on high, but the liftgate was open. At this point, I couldn't help but think that sweet other mom might be taking her words back if she could see me now! I managed to get everyone strapped in, groceries loaded, poopy diaper properly disposed of, and the cart returned. We whisked through the Chick-fil-a drive through and headed home. Chaos continued with an overtired Harper while I bribed Maddex with treats to get her to eat her chicken. Eventually I got all kids down for what is proving to be a fantastic nap. I'm able to look back at those hectic moments and see the humbling gravel in my hair and laugh. I know being a mom of twins and an older sister just 21 months apart will bring plenty of humbling, gravel-filled moments. I am thankful for the feelings of confidence that comes with these moments and for the reminders that the Lord is in control of my life. After all, as I've continually said, I can't survive this life with Him! So, bring on the gravel!
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